Top: Ania – the sweet sixteen look
Almost ten years on, Ania's still looking peachy. Not everyone can sport the 'sweet sixteen - a decade later' look though. Ania pulls it off with an autoironic frown. Whatever you do – don't forget the frown, it often saves the effort. Tip number two: no matter how short your skirt or how body-clutching your top, a lace hem and a plait will cater for the demure look oh-of-course you want to achieve.
Middle: Amelia – the mad hatter look
'Ryanair Baggage Restrictions Travel Advisory' made Amelia tap into her mum's three decades' worth of hoarding, and you can see the effects in today's shot. The extra-psychodelic sparkle on the black dress caters for more deadline-triggered panic attacks when you're already 10 hours into your library trip and still counting. Remember, always wear a skirt and leggins when off to the library, no matter how ambitious you are, after 10 hours of sitting cross-legged on the floor your skinny jeans will dig indelible scars into your legs the best plastic surgeon will not fix. The jumper needs to be snug. Leave extra space for the spare tire you will inevitably incur on the staple library diet of malteasers and rich-tea biscuits. Thou shalt not wear heels – have some respect for the seasoned floors and think about your future varicose veins. Add jacket, I don't know why, maybe to look smart when you're not. Top it off with a black felt chaplinesque hat to leave the outside world with no doubt that that you're out for a kill. Have a good supply of marbles in your pockets so that you can lose some of these and save your own.
Bottom: some artifacts you may need to look smart when you're definitely feeling not.